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<title>Hurts Like Hell by Twist2005</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752129">Hurts Like Hell</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twist2005/pseuds/Twist2005'>Twist2005</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Lovestruck - Fandom, Reigning Passions (Visual Novel), Voltage visual novel - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Gen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:22:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>875</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23752129</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twist2005/pseuds/Twist2005</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes you have to look back so you can move forward. Set early in season one. </p><p>Songfic to Fleurie’s Hurt Like Hell</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Xenia/Main Character (Reigning Passions)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>How can I say this without breaking?<br/>
How can I say this without taking over?<br/>
How can I put it down into words<br/>
When it's almost too much for my soul alone?</i>
</p><p>Xenia was tired. It had been a long week since finding the girl and bringing her to Altadellys, but there was still so much to do. So many threads spinning. So many webs within webs and wheels within wheels.</p><p>And the girl.....she was clever. Xenia appreciated cleverness, really, she did. She just wished the girl would stop asking certain questions. Questions the gossip-hounds at Court would be delighted to answer with sensational detail and wild speculation. </p><p>
  <i>Val. </i>
</p><p>Gods above and below, she missed him. His laugh. The lines around his eyes when he smiled. The touch she could swear ghosted along her flesh on long nights. </p><p>The way he had gasped a thank you as she killed him. </p><p>
  <i>I loved and I loved and I lost you<br/>
I loved and I loved and I lost you<br/>
I loved and I loved and I lost you<br/>
And it hurts like hell<br/>
Yeah it hurts like hell</i>
</p><p>She rose for a moment to pace her bedroom. The girl was fine. She was running to a party with Lyris and Piama. And, unknown to any of them, Ruelle kept an invisible watch. Just in case the prince’s gathering got out of hand. </p><p>Xenia was many things, but careless wasn’t one of them. </p><p>
  <i>I don't want them to know the secrets<br/>
I don't want them to know the way I loved you<br/>
I don't think they'd understand it, no<br/>
I don't think they would accept me, no</i>
</p><p>She would have to tell the girl. Someday. Because gods help her, she wanted the girl to think well of her. Something about her pulled at Xenia. She was strong, but willing to accept direction. Unschooled, but full of potential. And something in her misty green eyes caused a lurch in Xenia’s machinations, a spark of interest she hadn’t felt in years. </p><p>But not tonight. She crossed to her spiders. Unbidden, one pair of arms released a catch in the table drawer. The painting was in her hands before she knew it. </p><p>Tonight was for Val. </p><p>
  <i>I loved and I loved and I lost you<br/>
I loved and I loved and I lost you<br/>
I loved and I loved and I lost you<br/>
And it hurts like hell<br/>
Yeah, it hurts like hell</i>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Wicked Games</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sooooo this is turning into me working my way through Xenia’s playlist  </p><p>Also, I really need a name for MC. Feel free to hit me up with any suggestions</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>The world was on fire and no one could save me but you<br/>It's strange what desire will make foolish people do<br/>I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like youAnd I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you </i>
</p><p>Xenia didn’t, as a rule, require a great deal of sleep. Which made it all the more irritating that she couldn’t manage even that. She had only to close her eyes when a pair of misty green eyes would swim into view. </p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me?”</p><p>Xenia wasn’t sure. She had her reasons for not telling the girl about the antidote, but damned if she could remember them. <br/>She had pushed too far, demanded too much trust too quickly. </p><p>She had been so sure the girl would trust her to keep her safe. Instead, she was back in the Wilds and Xenia was lying awake. Alone. </p><p>
  <i>No, I don't wanna fall in love<br/>(This world is only gonna break your heart)<br/>No, I don't wanna fall in love<br/>(This world is only gonna break your heart) with youWith you(This world is only gonna break your heart)</i>
</p><p> Xenia missed her. There was the dull ache of absence knowing that her warmth had left the palace. There was the sharper stab when she half-turned to point out some new intrigue, only to be met by silence. </p><p>She wasn’t even going to think about the pleasant, skin-tingling memory of the girl helping her undress. Ruelle’s capable assistance was one thing. The girl’s gentle, clever fingers had been something else. The kind that made her think thoughts long left alone. </p><p>
  <i>What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this wayWhat a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of youWhat a wicked thing to say, you never felt this wayWhat a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you </i>
</p><p>There was something there, Xenia was sure of it. She’d seen desire lurking in those amazing eyes. Had felt the yearning in those clever fingers. And gods above knew, her sleep was filled with dreams of red hair and soft skin. </p><p>Damn the girl and her nonchalance with nudity. Xenia had caught enough glimpses to fill in some erotic dreams. Had woken more than once with her skin on fire with want. Aching to touch and be touched. </p><p>If it had only been a question of bodies. If the girl had indeed just been a barmaid on an overnight trip. But instead, she was more. Which entranced Xenia and terrified her to the point of driving her away. </p><p>
  <i> Mistake. A massive mistake. But how to rectify it? </i>
</p><p>It wouldn’t hurt to drive out there. Just to check on her. Make sure she was safe. Make sure she was happy. </p><p>It wouldn’t hurt at all.</p>
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